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  • Writer's pictureMaya Kollman

How living with an open heart can help with loss.

Living as a human being is not easy.It is not easy because there are little and big losses everyday. If we are willing to take the risk to attach, loses will occur. So we have two choices. We can either decide never to attach which leaves us hollow and empty or to attach deeply and learn to dance well with the inevitable loses we will experience.


For me, it is the second option I want to choose, even though as I think about it, I can feel the fear arise. How will I live without Barbara if something happens to her? What if something happens to my children and grandchildren? How can I handle this fear and not let it rule me? I know when fear rules I will in some way rupture connection with those I love. In this time of Covid, we need lots of tips of how to manage all the many loses around us without closing our hearts; when we close our hearts, we lose so much of the joy, wonder and awe of life.

Steps to living with an open heart:


1. Tune up your senses to experience all that is around you now.

2. When you have an appreciation for those close to you, don’t just think, it say it.

3. Grow the container to accept all you feel inside. Learn to talk about your vulnerability with those you trust.

4. Become more aware of your impact on others. When you are struggling let them know it is not about them.

5. Listen to music that opens your heart.

6. Watch videos that touch you.

7. Become aware of the moments when you feel close and it scares you and resist the urge to rupture the connection. Instead talk about the fear and ask your partner to listen.

8. Make a list of the loses you have had in your life and how you have survived them. Explore what has helped you in the past.

9. Look at this list, and see how the loses have made you more resilient, more humble, more grateful.

10. Keep a gratitude journal. Write down what you are grateful for and why it is so amazing

to have those things.



Learn more about the Getting the Love you Want Workshop

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